XV: Living the Past

I opened my eyes. Where were the posters on my ceiling? Where were my--- oh yeah. I was on the bus. Exactly where I didn’t want to be. I had cried myself to sleep the night before thinking about how much I missed Adriann, and Lucile and everyone else. I even missed Aunt Kate, as cold as she had been to me the past few days. I felt the tears coming back again. No, I wasn’t going to cry. I blinked my eyes until they went away. This whole thing was just stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did they think that I needed to be with my family so badly? I mean, I hated the life that I led there, which is exactly the reason that I left. Wait. If I can’t stop thinking about this, then I’ll just be miserable the whole time. I decided right then to stop thinking about how incredibly miserable I really was so that I could just enjoy being with my family, ‘cause, like I said, it’s not that I don’t like being with them, it’s just that I don’t like what they do all the time. I heard someone coming down the hall towards my bunk. Please don’t be Mom or Dad, I thought. The curtain flew open. “Why good morning dear sister!” It was only Zac with Mackenzie. I didn’t mind them.

“Hey, guys.” I sounded surprisingly sad. I thought I had been acting well.

“What’s wrong? You sound bad!” Mack was so cute. Why did he have to be so cute?

“Nothing, Mack, don’t worry. Aren’t you guys hungry?”

“Of course! Aren’t we always?” Now I remembered why I had stayed here as long as I did. Zac was always so fun. I hate to say it, but he was always my favorite. Him and Mack, of course. But there were other elements of my “new” or rather, old, life, that I didn’t enjoy at all. I glanced at the concert schedule tacked to my wall. Luckily, Zac didn’t notice. I put on a bright smile and headed to the “kitchen” with them.

Mom was the only other one there. I imagined they had woken her up an hour or so ago, gotten bored, and decided to wake someone else up. Me being the prime choice, of course. I’m just guessing, but I mean, nothing else has changed much around here. Mom smiled when she saw me. Now that I think about it, I guess I really did miss my family. Sort of. At first. But then I guess I realized what it was like to have a real life. She kissed me on the head.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” She set a bowl of cereal in front of me, and I crunched my way through it. Zac and Mack did the same, but I guessed that they were on their third or fourth bowls. Once again, nothing much seems to have changed here.

I glanced at the newspaper spread out on the table next to me.

Hanson, it said, page 2B. Page 2B was open next to that. It was about me. Dejá vú hit me so hard and so fast that I couldn’t even read the headline. Mom noticed me looking at it and sat down next to me with a mug of coffee in her hand. She looked me in the eye for a second.

“Looks like you’re famous,” she said softly, smiling. Why was she smiling? I stared down at my cereal.

“C’mon Jessie.” I felt a sticky little hand tug on my arm. I looked down to Mack.

“Okay,” I said, almost inaudible. I stood up and put my bowl in the sink. I could feel Mom’s eyes watching me the whole time. I followed Mack without looking back.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Around 5, we showed up at the concert. This one was in Memphis. Already hours away from everyone. I never understood this. The concert didn’t start till 8. I mean, we get there two hours before the concert at least, and sit around about half of that time. It never made any sense to me. But anyway, when we got there, there were of course, fans. Already?? Two hours before the concert??? Another phenomenon in my mind. I was staring out the window as we pulled up. Zac came up behind me and smiled. I tried my hardest to smile back at him, and apparently, my attempts worked because he seemed satisfied.

“Come on you guys!” Isaac called. I stood up and followed Zac out of the bus.

Next